


APRIL FOOLS!

by PsychoKitty33



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, April Fools' Day, Clueless John, Fluff, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-01-17 21:10:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1402561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoKitty33/pseuds/PsychoKitty33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This April Fools day Dave comes up with a plan to come out with a personal gain, preferably a boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Walking To School

_**Your name is Dave Strider and you are slowly losing your patience.**_

You frown, tapping your foot to the beat flowing from your headphones. It was your own mix so you really didn’t actually need to listen to it to know exactly how it went, but you did because that made it ironic. And if there was one thing you had learned from your brother, it was that irony is cool. So you stand there ironically jamming out to your own mixes while waiting. John was running a few minutes late you think to yourself, leaning against the side of John’s house. You leave your apartment early every day to meet the derp here so you two could walk to school together. It was slightly inconvenient, but it’s what a best bro would do. After another five minutes or so the dork lord himself came rushing out of his house, clutching his backpack in his hands. The bag looked heavier than normal, it was bulging a bit from everything inside and seemed to be throwing off John’s ballance. You frown even deeper and try to recall if you had forgotten to do a project for any of your classes. It was unlikely though as you have no recollection of any project at all this quarter so far. But then again, since you two were in 11th grade now, you did have some different classes than each other. 

“Sorry Dave! I’m running a bit late today.” 

You smirk at him, “I know. Just look at you.” 

John was sort of a mess. Now that you had looked closer he could see that his pants were abnormally wrinkled, his shirt was on backwards under his sweatshirt, and one of his shoes were untied. The only thing that wasn’t uncharacteristically messy was his hair, and that was only because it was this much of a mess every day. 

“Here, let me take this for you.” You say, already reaching out for John’s backpack. The bag was in fact kinda heavy, with what you didn’t know. It was too irregularly shaped to be textbooks. John smiled appreciatively in reply and bent over to tie his shoe quickly. 

“Hey John what’s in here?” 

“Breakfast, among other things.” 

“I’m totally getting in on that, right.” 

“Ugh fine, don't eat it all though.” 

You work at unzipping the bag, watching John out of the corner of your eye though, as he tugged off his sweatshirt. You have had an entirely uncool crush on John for at least two years. John had no idea at all, but that was no fault of yours. The dork was about as oblivious as they get, honestly you could probably tell him outright and he wouldn’t know. Your lips curved slightly upward in a smirk as John peeled his shirt off to reveal his tan, lean body. John is far from built but you can definitely appreciate the muscle rippling under the surface of his skin. In the few seconds his shirt is off you see goosebumps appear on his skin, maybe having him change outside wasn’t such a good idea. It is the end of March after all. While John continues to readjust his clothes you poke around in the backpack. In a short amount of time you came up with a pack of oreos. 

“Jackpot.” 

“Save some for me Dave!” John giggles. He seems strangely giddy. Even more cheerful than usual. Whatever. You pull back the top flappy thing on the oreos bag and grab out a few. You bring one up to your lips and bite into it, only to have an overpoweringly minty taste overcome your mouth. 

“Ick!” You sputter, throwing the oreo in your hand down. “John, what the hell?” 

He only laughs harder. “APRIL FOOLS!” 

Now you realize that yes, it is in fact the first of April. 

“John you are an insufferable ass” 

He just continues to snicker. You pull the straps of his still open backpack over your shoulders, wearing in backwards. Looking back into his bag you see a bottle of coca-cola. 

“Just because of that i’m taking this.” You lay down the law. He can’t just prank you and not go punished. You open the bottle, noticing the seal has already been broken. Not that you care that John’s lips had been on this. Actually this was like an indirect kiss which was fine with you. But you definitely need to get that damned mint taste out of your mouth. You can hardly believe he pulled something as juvenile as the toothpaste oreo trick. No, scratch that. It doesn’t even surprise you. It is exactly what you should have expected him to do. Whatever. 

You take a large swig of coke into your mouth and instantly recoil. Instead of the sweet bubbly taste in your mouth you got fizzy yet salty. You spew it out all over the sidewalk, light spray hitting john’s backpack. You turn to glare at him and ask him in your lowest pitch monotone voice, “John. What the hell. Did I just fucking drink?” 

He can’t even answer you, he’s laughing too hysterically, doubled over, his face red from laughing. He manages to pant out an answer in between peales of laughter. “so- soy- soy- sa- sauce. A-and. Sp-sp-spr-sprite.” 

You're still coughing but you continue to walk, leaving him behind, zipping his backpack as you go. No more trusting anything from this bag today. You wait for him to catch up at the nearest stop sign, on the corner. You hear his footsteps approaching and look back at him. The idiot actually has tears in his eyes from laughing too god damned hard. You roll your eyes at him and hand the bag of tricks back to him. 

“You just had to do that, John?” 

“Congrats Dave, you’re my first victim of the day!” 

“Yeah yeah yeah. I’m honored.” 

“You should be. I’m practically a professional, you should be thrilled I even bothered with pranking you.” 

“Yeah. Like I said. I’m positively delighted. So Mr. Professional, what big prank do you have planned today?” 

“Big prank?” 

“Are you serious?” 

He nods once, completely solemn now. 

“A huge prank. One that really gets everyone. One that they will remember for years. Something legendary. Something any good prankster can be proud of.” 

“Well, I didn’t really plan one out…” 

“Okay. We can still fix this.” 

You smirk. Now it’s time to get your revenge, and hopefully gain from it too. And you think you know how. You continue. 

“Well. First of all, it should be big and noticeable. And something that is long term, that we can run with all day. Not just a once and done thing. It should be surprising, unexpected, and maybe just a bit offensive. Like we don’t need people calling the cops or anything, but we want them to whisper. And wonder. We want the whole school to know. So here’s my plan.” 

The entire time he has been listening closely, you can tell. Now here’s where you really need to sell it. 

“So what we’re gonna do… is…” 

You continue to pause, letting the suspense build. 

“date.” 

“What???” 

“We’re gonna date.” 

“Dave! I’m not a homosexual!” 

“Well duh. That’s why it’s brilliant.” 

He narrows his eyes, “I don’t follow.” 

“This can’t be pulled off except by the most brilliant pranksters. That’s you of course. Or the severely ironic: yours truly.” 

“Dave I don’t even think this qualifies as a prank.” 

“John.” 

“hmm?” 

“Think of the look on Vantas’s face.” 

He grins. “Okay fine. I’m in. So how are we gonna play this?” 

“Just follow my lead.” 

You smirk, eyes triumphant behind your shades. 

Hook. 

Line. 

And sinker.


	2. Before School Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's great at 'acting' like he and John are dating.

“Really though Dave, how are we gonna pull this off?” 

“Like I said, just go with it.” 

_**Your name is John Egbert and you were going to pull a great prank this year.**_

Pranking was something you absolutely loved. You liked to think you were good at it too. You had already pulled two great pranks on your best friend and now, instead of him being mad like you were kind of worried about, he’s helping you pull a big prank. This big prank definitely worries you. But you do acknowledge the brilliance of it. It would throw off your friends and confuse them. Especially Karkat. While he constantly insisted that he wasn’t you and Dave’s friend, you knew better. Karkat was just kind of awkward, the only mood he really had down was angry. So nearly anything could send him into a frothy rage. And an angry Karkat was the best Karkat to mess with. If he was angry enough or thrown off enough by you and Dave ‘dating’ he wouldn’t be so defensive. He would leave himself wide open for pranking. Rose, with her sister-like attitude tords Dave and you, would likely overanalyze everything. And while it was unlikely that she would be distracted enough to leave herself without defence to pranks, she would likely spend a large amount of her time trying to break down you and Dave’s relationship. But there was none! So it would be a total waste of her time! It wasn’t a great prank but at least it was something. Jade would be thrown off too, considering that she had dated Dave in the past. It had ended somewhat… messily for them from what you’ve heard. But neither of them went into great detail about their breakup with you. You just hoped it would confuse her but not make her upset. She was still one of your closest friends. 

This whole time, you and Dave had been walking closer to the school. Now you were at the crest of the hill, and were looking down at the school. The school was made up of two different buildings. An upper house and a lower house. The lower house had most of the freshmen’s classes in it, but there were a few other classrooms down there too. The upper house had the majority of the classes. It was three floors and a confusing web of hallways. Your group however met every morning, outside, about halfway between the two. Because while you and Dave had AP environmental for first period in the upper house, and Rose had psych in the upper house, Jade had drama first period in the lower house. So you guys stayed half way. You hung out with a few other people in the morning too: Karkat, who had some dumb computer class in the engineering wing; Feferi, who had some lifeguarding gym class in the gym with the pool; Aradia, who had forensics in the lower house; Vriska, who had the same thing as Aradia (even though they had a feud of sorts); Nepeta, who had AP bio in upper; and Equius, who had weight lifting in the upper house. But anyway, now as you two start walking down the hill tords your group Dave reaches out and grabs your hand. You're a little startled at first and jump a bit, looking over at him. He just looks at you and smirks. You nod at him. You two totally have this. As you two pick your way down the hill, choosing to walk closer to the parking lot rather than the sidewalk so as to avoid all the bussing students you gently swing your joined hands. 

Once you near your group you see Rose notice the two of you approaching and turn to nod in greeting. However once she notes your linked hands she raises one eyebrow gracefully and smirks. At times like this you think that maybe she actually is Dave’s sister instead of just acting like it. She turns to say something to Jade who quickly turns to look, bouncing up on the balls of her feet. You're still out of earshot but you would guess that it was about your hand holding. Jade’s face lights up and she beams. 

Huh. This wasn’t the reaction you saw coming. Maybe Rose’s reaction, but Jades… You expected her to at least be confused. But no. Now she’s running out to meet you and Dave. 

“Guys!!! Why didn’t you tell me?” She half says half squeals, flinging her arms around the two of you. Now you have the majority of the group’s attention, as well as some other random high schoolers. Karkat as you expected looks half angry half confused. Vriska gives her typical sneer at your hand being in Dave’s. Nepeta is swatting at Equius’s arms and now you can hear her hysterical squeals of “I ship it! I ship it! I ship it soo hard!” But actually most of the group has either already looked away, disinterested, or was just smiling or something. No one really looked baffled or bugged. As you, Dave, and Jade converged with everyone else Rose’s black painted lips turned up even further into an almost-smile-but-still-definitely-a-smirk. You four move slightly off to the side. The four of you had come from Brooksfield Beta Middle School rather than Alternia Middle like the other people in the group and you four still mostly stuck with each other. 

“Congratulations you two.” Rose says, softly. 

Well, its now or never, you still have to be convincing. So you smile at her and let Dave respond. 

“Thanks Rose, good to know we have your support.” 

“Of course. So when did this happen?” 

“Officially? Yesterday. But I’ve had feelings for this oblivious dork for quite a while. Years even.” 

Dave looks over at you affectionately. At his words your cheeks started to color. Dave is really good at this. But they’re waiting for your response, so you pull your hand loose from Dave’s and instead wrap your arms around his waist. You smile up at him sheepishly. 

“Sorry ‘bout that Dave. I just thought that all the cuddles and things were an ironic thing.” 

“Dude, I kissed you on New Years last year, how could you not know?” 

That was true. Dave had kissed you on New Years as the ball dropped last year. You had been totally embarrassed and couldn’t meet his eyes until he explained how he kissed you ironically. It was smart of him to use facts, because both Rose and Jade had been there too. They would remember this and it would only help you guys to convince them. 

“Dave you literally told me that was an ironic kiss.” 

“Because you were gonna freak out.” 

“Thats not my fault. Most people freak out when a totally attractive guy kisses them out of nowhere.” 

“Totally attractive?” He raises his eyebrows and smirks. You blush even more and nod without saying anything. Its true after all. Dave is really attractive. With his tall yet strong build and his blond hair. His freckles that dust across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose on that pale, pale skin. His strong cheekbones. And his eyes. His stunning red eyes. Barely anyone has seen the eyes. You’re lucky enough to be one of them. Because what Dave constantly hides behind the aviators you had gotten him years ago are beautiful scarlett irises. Now you realize you had just been staring at him and the conversation had carried on without you. Jade was saying something about hoping this would happen ever since Dave told her why they had to break up. Wait. That was relevant. Shoot. You wish you hadn’t missed that, you’ll just have to ask Dave about it later. You pulled back so one of your arms was still around Dave’s waist but you could stand next to him instead of smack up against him. By now a few of your friends from Alternia middle had already drifted off to their lockers so Karkat came over to join you. He spoke gruffly as per usual. 

“It’s good to know you fuckasses have finally decided to actually fuck each other's asses instead of just lusting after each other’s dicks like you’ve done for the past years.” 

You chuckle. That was exactly like Karkat. Dave as per usual, quickly responds. 

“Yeah Vantas, sorry but this Egbet ass has been claimed.” With that he reaches out and gently grabs your butt. You jump and make an entirely unmanly squeak. 

“Dave! We’re in public, have some manners!” 

“Sorry John, just establishing what is mine.” 

Rose and Jade are laughing at you two and Karkat continues with his usual frown. 

“Oh please. He wishes he could have some of this. He’s just settling for you.” 

“No Karkat, I’m pretty sure you aren’t my type. And i’m hardly ‘settling’ for Dave. I mean, just look at the guy. Super attractive, smart even though he spends most classes texting and distracting me, and with dj-ing talent to top it off.” 

Dave is gonna have the biggest head about all of this later. But for now no one can say John Egbert isn’t convincing. 

“Thanks babe.” Dave bends down and presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “But for now I gotta run and grab my shit from my locker. So i’ll see you in homeroom and I’ll see the rest of y’all at lunch.” With that he meaningfully strode off in the direction of the upper house. You try to look at the remaining members of the group with some form of lovey-dovey look. 

Today was going to be a long day.


	3. Homeroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave is such a great actor. John is confused.

**_Your name is John Egbert and you're starting to regret this._ **

Dave is clearly not one to half-ass things. After you wander away from your group you go straight to homeroom. Unlike Dave you don’t use your locker. You thought it was too much of a hassle, even back in 9th grade. Once you get to first period however you are surprised to find Dave surrounded by a couple of girls. This was atypical. Normally Dave avoided mostly everyone except you and your friends from the morning. But today he was chatting up 3 girls, and from what you’d heard at least 2 of them had had massive crushes on him at least for a while if not still. You feel a massive wave of jealousy overtake you as you take even steps to get over there. He was your boyfriend after all. Ah! You mean best friend. Dave is your best friend (Author’s Note ⇐ bonus points if you get the reference) This whole prank thing was totally implanted in your brain, better than you thought it could be in such a short amount of time. But no, technically you weren’t dating so he could talk to (or by the looks of it flirt with) anyone he wanted. You're still working at composing your face when he looks over at you. You see a smirk wash over his face and he saunters over to you. Once he’s directly in front of you he pulls some dumb move where he walks his fingers over your shoulders and he himself walks behind you. Then he whispers directly in your ear, “Jealous?” Amusement is obvious in his voice, clearly he thinks you're stupid for getting so caught up in it. But he isn’t done. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m yours, okay?” He presses a kiss behind your ear and you shiver and your eyes flutter shut as a reflex. Now blushing you open your eyes and see the girls watching the two of you and giggling with each other. Still behind you he pushes you in the direction of your normal seats. Looking over your shoulder you ask him, “Dave, shouldn’t they be a little more upset or something. Aren’t they crazy for you too?”  


“Too?” he raises his eyebrows.  


“I…” You look away. “Reflex.”  


He gives you a half nod. “Anyway, I just ‘came out’ to them. I pulled the whole, you guys are like really delicious scoops of strawberry ice cream, but unfortunately I don’t like strawberry, I kind of prefer mint chocolate chip. And so I got myself a fine scoop of Mint CC named Egbert. And I was finally becoming public with it all.”  


You nod at him.  


“And then they asked me if you’re any good?”  


“hmm?”  


He smirks. “Any good…”  


“Dave I don't follow.” Even though you can’t see his eyes you know he’s rolling them at you.  


“In bed.”  


“Oh.”  


“For the record I said you’re the best.”  


“Uh, thanks.”  


“Yeah you can just prove it to me later.”  


Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes at him.  


“Dave it’s no wonder they bought it at such a low price, you’re practically giving it away for free already!”  


“Hey man c’mon, I thought long winded, far blown out metaphors were my thing.”  


“Ugh, you’re right, they are… No! I’m already catching it Dave.”  


“Be careful them Egderp because I’ve got an awful case of the gay and you know it’s terribly contagious.”  


“How does it spread?”  


“Like this mostly.”  


He flashsteps into your personal space. You guys were already in a corner / alcove thing, isolated from everyone else and you back up reflexively. Your back hits the wall. Dave puts a hand on either side of you against the wall effectively caging you in and leans down. He kisses you again. It’s the first time since New Years that you’ve really kissed. Not just a brief kiss. It’s kinda more than your teenage hormone crazed brain can take so you kiss him back. You step away from the wall and go up on your tiptoes so he doesn’t have as far to lean and put your arms around his neck. His arms follow you and his hands end up locking with each other behind your back. His lips move against yours, perfectly soft and pliable. It’s nice. Really nice and you allow yourself to give into it.

Just then the second bell goes and it startles you. You jump and your glasses bump. You pull away from him and without making eye contact go to your seat. He follows and sits next to you as per usual. Oh my god. What did you just do. No, scratch that. You know what you just did. You just kissed your best friend. Again. Who you were supposedly dating. But you weren’t. You didn’t think so anyway. This was just a part of the plan. Right. The plan. You could still get Karkat. Hopefully. But he himself hadn’t been genuinely upset. He had just been his typical angry self because that was his default. The plan wasn’t working. Not that you’d tell Dave that. No! Wait! You have to tell him right away. It isn’t fair to him. You look over at him, his eyes behind his shades are trained on the tv monitor watching the morning announcements. You open your mouth but don’t say anything so you shut it again. Dave isn’t normally one to watch the announcements, but you know he’s probably in as much shock as you were. When Dave kisses you it tends to be purely ironic, for you to kiss back… that throws the whole concept for a loop. It hardly matters though, things with you two will likely go back to normal in a day or two, and it will all be worth it if this plan is a success. Speaking of which, you ought to take inventory of your tools of the trade for today.

You lift your backpack off the floor next to you and set it on your lap. Opening the bulging bag is a delicate process but it’s simple enough. First things first, you pull out your binder for environmental and set it on your desk. Then you peer in your bag. You have the following:  


[X] one mostly full pack of toothpaste oreos  


[X] one three quarter bottle full of sprite and soy sauce  


[X] one bottle of ‘orange drink’ (macaroni and cheese powder)  


[X] one bottle of clear mouth wash  


[X] two cans of shaving cream  


[X] six cupcakes frosted with mayonnaise  


[X] one relatively large bag of candies that turn your mouth blue  


[X] one tube of saran wrap  


[X] one roll of duct tape  


[X] one roll of scotch tape  


[X] twenty seven printed out pictures of Nicolas Cage

You were totally ready for today, even if things were a little complicated now. Some of the stuff, like the shaving cream was for just in case an opportunity arose. Other things, like the saran wrap, you had definite plans for. But what good are plans if you don’t put them into action. And to do that you needed the help of a certain blond. 

Your teacher started talking about what you would be doing that class. It was gonna be bookwork today. Simple, easy, but utterly boring. While the rest of the class was hard at work methodically filling in blanks on the pages of the packet they had to fill out you start a whispered conversation.

“Psst. Dave.”  


“Sup?” He replies without looking at you. You too return your eyes to your paper. It wouldn’t do well to be caught and called out for your actions.  


“I have some prank ideas, and I need an assistant.”  


“So you pretty much need a sidekick”  


“Yeah kinda.”  


“Do I get a slammin’ costume and a witty one line catch phrase?”  


“Sure.” You roll your eyes. At least things were going normally.  


“I’m in, What do I need to do.”  


“Right now, nothing. Later, I need help breaking into lockers and I need a distraction.”  


“I think I can manage that. I mean considering I have this anyway.” He pulls out his keys from his jean pocket. In a typical Strider manner his keys are on wires all strung through the center hole in an actual shuriken. Which violated a major school rule of no weapons. But what did you expect. He holds one of the keys between his fingers. It’s nothing major to look at. Small and regular shaped. But something about it was familiar.  


“Dave is that… ?”  


“The skeleton key janitors have that open all lockers in the school? Of course not. Where would I have found such a thing,” He pulls down his shades a bit and looks over at you long enough to wink before shifting back to a focused-on-work position. You really don’t have any idea how he got it, but the fact that he has it doesn’t quite surprise you. 

Yeah, Dave was a useful friend to have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha maybe i need 4 chapters (yeah i do)


	4. Study Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((honestly this could all be one chapter cause it all takes place in one day but whatever.)) some pranks are prepped.

_**Your name is Dave Strider and hell yes you have this in the bag**_  


John buys into your and his ‘prank’ more easily than you thought he would. Well, no one alive can resist a Strider for very long. Even him, a total heterosexual like him. That’s what you tell yourself at least. Now you're helping him with another one of his dumb pranks. He wants to break into peoples’ lockers and tape Cage’s ugly mug in there. Something like that. So now you two are taking a trip around the halls for some ‘film project’. At least that is what the hag running your study hall thinks. Really you're just here in the different halls watching him scurry around with your keys and open lockers at random, taping pictures of Nic Cage where they’ll be seen for sure and giggling the whole time. He looks like an idiot. But he’s your idiot. Well, if the plan works. 

You're feeling pretty good about it right now. Well, of course you are; because of this ‘prank’ you finally got to back the kid against a wall and try to initiate some sweet makeouts. It had been since New Years since you’d kissed him and god had you missed it. Then he kissed back, wrapped his arms around your neck. You pulled him even closer, things were starting to heat up. Of course it was time for a god damned bell to go off and startle the shit out of him. You’d seen the panic on his face and he wouldn’t look at you, just scrambled back to his seat and stared at the wooden tabletop. You’d followed him of course, went to your spot next to him and had tried to act casually while mentally screaming at him that it was fine and good and he needed to calm the fuck down and let it happen some more. Without him talking to you, you needed something to do so you stared blankly at the tv while inside your mind was flying as fast as a fucking fighter jet out for a test run with a pilot who had to take a piss. You heard more than saw him rummaging through his backpack. Probably just checking he had what he needed since he didn’t take anything out after he got out the binder for the class you guys were in. You knew when he was like this it was smartest to just leave him alone till he talked to you otherwise you’d just freak him out worse. So you had forced yourself to calm down and work on your packet. Sooner than you had expected he was trying to get your attention. For a second you had wondered if he would say anything about you two kissing but of course he hadn’t. Instead he had asked for help with his shitty pranks. And you the perfect best friend and sidekick you were, had just what he needed and agreed right away. So here you were now. 

He seems to be mostly done. You think he’s running out of Cage pictures. But you two still had time and he wasn’t leading the two of you back in the direction of your study hall so he probably had something else planned. He turns back towards you and tosses your keys at you and the shuriken probably would have cut anyone else but you and your lightning fast reflexes manage to grab it out of the air without losing any fingers. You glare at him for a second and he just grins at you. Dork. He stops outside of a classroom and peaks through the glass window in the door. What the hell is he up to now? Once satisfied that no one is inside he wiggles the door handle. Of course nothing happens. Most teachers lock their classrooms when they leave. You roll your eyes and walk over to him. He turns to look at you. 

“Dave you don’t happen to have keys for this room too?” 

“Do you think I have keys for the entire god damned building, Egbert, of course I don't. Locks on lockers are like a nymphomaniac’s legs. They’re easy to get open and easy to get access to. Classroom keys are like trying to get some from that perfect-church-every-sunday-pastel-knee-length-poodle-skirt-saving-it-till-marriage type of girl.” 

He blinks at you for a second. “So you don’t have a key?” 

You roll your eyes at him. “Nope.” 

“But davvvveee~ It has to be this room!” He makes his eyes go all big and they’re just so blue and he does his best puppy dog face and- 

“I may be able to work something out for you.” 

“Really Dave? Thanks!” 

And just like that he’s back to grinning like an idiot. You fish your keys out of your pocket again. You didn't lie, you don’t have classroom keys. but you do have something equally helpful. You unclip the two small tools from your key shuriken and pocket the rest once more. You walk over to where the dork is still standing by the locked door and gesture him out of the way. That’s right, let the master lockpicker through. Or his apprentice anyway. You know you aren’t as good as your brother but someday you think you’ll reach his level. He’s taught you all sorts of useful skills through the years, including the art of picking locks. He doesn’t really intend to train you as a criminal (probably). He just wants you to be hella prepared for anything that could be thrown your way. Now you crouch slightly so you can really get at the keyhole. You stick your tension wrench into the lower porthole and twist the cylinder one way then the other. You can turn it left just a little bit more, but it is enough to tell you that you’ll need to turn left to open the lock. You keep it turned to the left so the loose pins would have a ledge to set on. You insert your pick into the keyhole and run it over the pins. You find the one that presses down the hardest and use your pick to push it up. After three tries you hear that satisfying click. You continue, finding the next tense pin and releasing it’s pressure and the next till you have it entirely unlocked, then you pull your wrench left and hear that final resolving click. You pull on the handle and the door swings open. You look at John with a triumphant smirk. He’s just standing there looking at you with his mouth hanging a little bit open and his eyes wide. He looks awed. Oh god you want to kiss him. But you shouldn’t. No one is around for you two to prank right now. But look at him. And those dumb blue eyes. That pigmentation shouldn’t appear in eyes. It doesn’t seem possible. Not that you're one to talk, with your genetic mutation and all. But god. John’s eyes. You could say hours of dumb poetic things about his eyes. You close the distance between you two and cup his cheek in your hand. His skin is warm. You lean in and this time you kiss him slowly and gently. He hesitates, stiff against you, You pull back and breathe out the word practice before leaning back in and trying again. This time he kisses back, he’s clearly nervous and his motions are slightly jerky. You kiss him right there in the middle of that thankfully empty hallway until his motions are smooth and he’s kissing you back with as much slow smolder as you're kissing him with. There we go. Gotta keep him wanting more. You pull back and grab his hand, dragging him into the classroom. 

“So why did you need to get into this classroom?” 

“This class is an extra room often used by this one group of kids to hang out in when they skip. They won’t get suspicious if the door is propped open. Which means it’s a great prank opportunity.” 

“John, Aren’t these people you shouldn’t mess with?” 

“They’ll never know it was me. Well if we hurry up.” He glances back at the door nervously. 

“Yeah I don’t feel like making today both the day I came out of the closet and the day I got my ass kicked protecting my boyfriend from a bunch of thugs so let’s hurry this up. What are we doing here?” He rolls his eyes at you before he answers. 

“This is totally two parted. Part one will hopefull trip at least one of them up. Word is they need to rush a bit to get in, because you know, who wants to be caught. Well they also tend to be loud and dumb and do things like race so who knows. So in order for this plan to work hopefully today isn’t the day they thoughtfully stroll down here and” 

“Egbert, you're rambling. You haven’t even gotten to what you're actually going to do yet.” 

“I was getting there” He pouts at you. You gesture with your hand for him to ‘get there’. 

“We put clear saran wrap across the bottom of the doorway like a trip wire.” 

“That’s it?” You say, unimpressed. 

“Shooosh Dave. It’s brilliant. They’ll trip and fall on their faces and it will be hilarious.” 

“You won’t even get to see it.” “It doesn’t matter. I can picture it already.” 

“So you said there is a part two to this crazy ass scheme of yours.” 

“I did.” 

“And it is…” 

“These.” Her pulls his backpack off his shoulder and sets it on a desk. He unzips it and pulls out a plastic container. He takes off the top and you see 6 perfectly iced cupcakes. Miraculously they aren’t squished at all despite being in his backpack up until now. Which is all well and good but what the hell do these cupcakes have to do with anything? 

“Uh John, it’s good to see you’ve gotten over your huge fear of baked goods but what is the deal with these?” 

“I’m not afraid of baked goods. I just dislike betty Crocker. These are homemade.” 

“In that case I’ll take one myself.” 

“You might want to rethink that Dave. Remember earlier?” Oh yeah. Just this morning he got you twice with variations of food pranks. Damn food for being your only weakness. Well. Food and dorks with buck teeth and glasses. 

“So what’s the matter with these?” 

“Icing.” 

“... dude if you jerked off onto the cupcakes thats getting farther away from prank and more towards really fucking creepy.” 

He swats at your arm. You know he’d never do that. “Davvve! It’s just mayonnaise. I used mayo instead of icing. Of course i didn’t. You know.” 

“John we’re in eleventh grade. You can say it.” 

“Nope. Not gonna.” 

“Whatever.” 

He moves to dig in some cabinets behind the teacher’s desk until he finds what he’s looking for: Paper plates. He puts the cupcakes on one in a short time and jots ‘for bake sale’ on a notecard that he places next to them. Yeah, you think that if they already are skipping and breaking into classrooms a don’t eat sign on unattended food likely won't stop them. 

“Ready to go now Egderp, Oh king of pranks?” 

He looks down at you over his nose in a superior manner. “Ah yes I suppose so. Though I am only the heir, my father still holds title of king.” 

“Forgive me your highness, I spoke without thought.” You kneel before him and look at the ground. 

“Rise sir knight, you are forgiven your grievances against the kingdom.” 

“Ayyy, thanks.” 

He laughs. “Dave way to break character! Come on work with me here!” 

“Eww John you're such a drama student.” 

“I am a drama student.” 

“You and Harley both. What am I gonna do with you.” 

“Nothing really. Nothing bad anyway. Since you dated/are dating both of us. Maybe you have a thing for drama students.” Oh hell yes. Lookie there John. Are you thinking about what you're saying. You know he probably isn’t, but his brain adjusted quickly enough to the idea. So that’s good. But you definitely don’t have a thing for theater kids. 

“As if.” 

“You soooo do.” 

“Nah. I date you despite that.” 

“So there's no reason you’d want someone who could rapidly switch character?” 

“Nope.” You pop your p. 

He grins at you predatorily and walks around behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder and blows gently against your ear. He whispers smoothly. “What a shame. I had hoped something like this would appeal to you.” He nips at your ear with his teeth. “But I suppose there are methods of persuasion to convince you that this isn’t so bad. A conditioning of the mind. Just like training a pet. Would you like that? Being my pet. Earning _rewards_ .” You can practically hear his smirk on the word ‘rewards’. And jesus fuck has this gotten to you. You know what the smug bastard means by rewards. Your dick knows too. You have to take a deep breath to keep it down because this definitely appeals to you. This appeals to you like the thought of some stranger paying off all their student loans appeals to a broke and overworked college student. Like the keys to a liquor store appeals to an alcoholic. 

And then he just pulls away from you and starts laughing and you just stand there shell shocked. He gets to work on using duct tape to attach the saran wrap to the door and tries to stop laughing at you. Every time he gets close to regaining his composure he looks up, sees your face and is right back to the laughter. Oh god, really though. Just another thing you needed to know about John Egbert. He can totally switch personalities to fit the description of any dominant ever. You didn’t even think he knew about that. Oh god. If your plan doesn’t work you are in so much trouble because you are in way too deep. He’s still giggling and talking about how bad he got you as you climb carefully over the saran wrap trip line and the two of you walk back to your study hall. You still haven’t managed to say a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bug me to update at aprilletherainbowcat.tumblr.com


	5. Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just gonna tell you write away that jk this isnt the last chapter. i'm going to need one more. Just try and stay with me. Also i promise times a million that it wont take that long to update again.

_**Your name is John Egbert and you are on a natural high here.** _

Now you aren’t positive that your prank went exactly as planned, but based off the angry growls still coming from those goons when you saw them on your way to lunch you were most likely successful. You walk over to your lunch table with your lunchbox in one hand and a red plastic tray in the other. Rose was already there with her girlfriend Kanaya. Jade and Karkat were there too and at each others’ throats already. She turned to cheerfully call a “Hey John!” to you before calling Karkat a ‘close minded ass hat’. Jade definitely spent too much time with Vantas. Terezi was on Karkat’s other side and was currently licking the red lunch tray. You can't say you were surprised. You took your normal seat across from Rose and diagonal from Jade. You set your tray on the table and place your lunchbox on it. Even though you are in eleventh grade your dad still packs your lunch every morning. This morning was no exception although you are a little nervous to open it now as you could find anything. Your dad was sure to have hidden a prank in here and you weren’t sure how concerned you should be. You pull your backpack off and set it on the ground next to you. You fish out the ‘orange drink’ that was actually water and Macaroni and cheese powder and set it on your tray. Terezi turns her head in it’s direction right away. The orange may not be cherry like the tray but it’s bright enough for it to catch her sense of smell. 

“John what is that delightfully citrus-y thing you have there?” 

“It’s just orange drink.” 

“I want it.” 

“It’s part of my lunch.” 

“John anything that color that isn’t a natural fruit can not be good for you anyway. You should let me have it.” 

“Ugh fine.” 

She reaches for it but before she can get it Karkat grabs it. 

“Don’t just give her everything she fucking wants. She’s spoiled enough as is.” 

She continues to try and grab for it while screeching out “Karkles please!” In any second she’s going to get it and get one heck of a surprise. Karkat seems to know this too. He pushes her back with his one hand and looks around quickly for anyone who would help him out. When he looks at you you just shake your head, laughing. He gives one last push at Terezi then frantically starts unscrewing the bottle and chugging it. You think you have died and gone to heaven. You see the exact second where he realizes something is wrong. His eyes widen and he forces himself to stop swallowing it. His cheeks are still bulging with the amount of cheese water he had in his mouth and he looks around for a solution. Karkat now jumps up from the table and runs across the lunchroom to where the trashcans are, earning a disapproving glare from the lunchroom monitor. You're laughing crazy hard especially when he outright spews the orange liquid into the trashcan. He starts walking angrily back and you look around the table. They all seem suitably confused. Kanaya is the first to speak, “I believe it is safe to presume that was not in fact orange drink.” You beam at her, “Definitely not orange drink.” Karkat is now walking back towards the lunch table and from the direction of the lunch line comes Dave, who falls into step with him. Rose looks at you “What was it?” 

“Oh you know. Water and macaroni and cheese powder” 

Terezi cackled, “That’s just too good.” 

“You almost drank it yourself” Jade reminded her. 

Terezi’s grin fell for a second before returning, “But I didn’t” 

Dave and Karkat arrive at your table. Karkat returns to his seat between Jade and Terezi and Dave settled next to you. He turned to face you, “Now I could ask why Vantas looks about as mad as a cat dropped in a bath but now I see you look pretty fucking smug so i’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume this is part of your crazy ass April fools prank scheme.” 

“Yeah that’s a pretty secure limb to go out on Dave.” 

“So what did you do to him?” You glance over at Karkat. He’s still glaring daggers at you. You call a happy ‘April Fools Karkat!’ at him before turning back to Dave. Conversations resume around you guys. 

“Mac n’ cheese powder in water passed off as orange drink.” You answer him. 

“Once again Egbutt, messing with peoples food is a down low dirty move.” 

“That’s the best part. He didn’t even want it. Terezi was gonna drink it and he grabbed it from her because he just can’t leave things the way they are. So it’s his own fault.” 

“Getting a little defensive there John?” 

“Why would I be?” 

“No reason. Speaking of reasons, is there a reason you’ve left your lunchbox locked up tighter than a prisoner in Azkaban?” 

“Dave you just referenced Harry Potter.” 

“Nope. That ain’t me.” 

You poke his side, “Dork.” 

“I asked you a question.” He said turning back to look at his tray. 

“Well, draw a circle in your mind labeled where John gets his insane skills at pranking. Then draw another circle directly labeled people who make John’s lunch. These circles are actually directly on top of one another. Does that answer your question Dave?” 

“I got the picture Egbert. You're scared to open your lunchbox because you don’t know what Daddy Egbert may have stashed in there to get you on the Egbert family’s favorite holiday.” 

“Yup that’s pretty much it.” 

He sighs exaggeratedly. “Well if you're too chicken to do it I suppose I can.” 

“I don’t know whether that was a genuine offer or a hope to get me to do it myself.” 

“If you're really so concerned-” 

“Dave open the lunchbox.” You cut him off. 

He shakes his head at you, “Ah ah ah I don’t think that’s how we ask here.” 

“Dave will you please open my lunchbox for me.” You ask sarcastically. Honestly you’ll be surprised if he doesn’t make you grovel. 

“I’m not feeling motivated to help you yet.” Yup. Dave was being predictably stubborn. 

“Pretty please Dave. Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top.” 

“You need to be a little more persuasive than that.” 

Ah the things you do to protect yourself from your Dad’s crazy antics. You scoot closer to Dave who is still watching you, waiting for you to do something persuasive. You think that your best bet is to daze him so he’ll just go ahead and open it for you. And if there is one thing that leaves you dazed… You lean right against him and press a gentle kiss to his lips. “Dave.” Another kiss. “Will you please.” One more quick kiss. “Help me out here.” You seal this with a harder kiss and before you pull back you nibble gently at his bottom lip. This was a risky move overall but it seems to have worked. His lips curve up in what seems to be a genuine smile, not just his trademark smirk. You can tell he’s rolling his eyes at you. 

“Yes it would seem that through some mild persuasion I have been moved to action.” He’s not talking at you thou- oh. Wait. You look at the rest of the table and start to blush as the majority of the table is by now watching. Jade grins at you while Rose smirks and raises an eyebrow. Terezi cackles, you assume miss synesthesia over there can smell your blush. Karkat is just glaring a bit before he talks into the silence, “Well if that showcasing of the awkward dick hungry monkeys snogging is over then I think we have to get back to the point that 50 First Dates was a good movie and also fuck you.” 

There is a second of awkward silence before Kanaya of all people says, “It seemed a bit unrealistic and forced don’t you think? Every night repainting walls so a girl suffering from memory loss could relive the same day forever. This day in which she is permitted to paint what she wishes on those walls. The fellow McConaughey was playing couldn’t have been the first to think of a video tape or something similar, the girl had a doctor, did she not?” 

“I… Uh.” 

“I don’t think you can argue that point Karkles.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Terezi!” 

You turn your attention back to the blond boy next to you. Dave slides your tray over in front of him, using it to push his own tray out of the way. He wiggled his fingers over the lunchbox. 

“Okay Egbert where are the wire cutters? Are we going to cut the red wire or the blue wire first.” 

“Smartass.” 

“Seriously Egbert, what do you think is gonna happen?” 

“I don’t know. Nothing good.” 

“If you're refusing to open it do you think i’m in any real danger here? I mean your dad isn’t batshit crazy. He’s not gonna rig explosives in your god damned lunchbox. Like we ain’t gonna have our own small scale 9/11 here. Ash raining from the sky, people screaming, the whole world watching in silence type shit can’t just go down for an April Fools Day prank.” 

“Dave. Open the lunchbox please.” 

“Ayy man. Alright, alright fine.” 

You watch closely as his fingers toy with the zipper before slowly inching it over to open the basic, blue, box shaped lunch bag. When nothing shot off, smoked, or oozed out he pulled a little less hesitantly. Soon he had the box unzipped. You lean back as he hooks his fingers under the top and pulls it open. Near instantly he doubled over, his head resting on his knees. You quickly slide over, looking worriedly down at him. You rest your hands on his back and you're startled to find that he’s shaking. 

“Dave! Are you okay?” You say, worry coloring your voice. 

“Look. In the lunchbox.” Wait a minute. He’s not hurt at all. He’s laughing so god damned hard he can hardly get his words out. You pull back from him but lean over to look in the lunchbox. 

Damn it Dad. 

Cake. Theres a fucking half of a cake in here. From the looks of it your dad lined the lunch box with plastic wrap then stuck half a cake in here. You’d bet your life that it’s the batterwitch’s too.When you had used the kitchen to make your cupcakes you had thought the kitchen already smelled cake-ish, but you assumed that was just how the kitchen smelled after the years of your dad baking an insane amount of cakes. Hahaha real funny dad. You roll your eyes. You can’t eat this and he knows it. You’ve definitely told him that you distrust the batterwitch. Well. He got you. There’s probably nothing even wrong with this cake. It’s just inedible to you. Well played, Dad. Well played. 

By now Dave has sat back up. “Let me guess John. You can’t eat this cake.” 

“You know I can’t eat this cake.” 

“This is the Betty Crocker b.s. again.” 

“Yup.” 

“I can eat the cake though, right?” 

“Sure.” 

“Oh sweet jesus yes.” 

You roll your eyes as he grabs a spork from his tray, still on his other side and plunges it into the direct center of the cake. The idiot starts shoveling large bites of the white cake into his mouth. This isn’t even a creative Crocker cake. White cake with vanilla icing. So unoriginal. 

“Dave i’m pretty sure you can’t eat all of that.” You figure you should remind him. 

He struggles to speak around the cake, “Shufft thu fuck up Egbert.” 

“Make me.” You say as he swallows what he has in his mouth 

He cocks an eyebrow. “You think I can’t.” 

“Dave…” You say cautiously. He has some sort of plan. You know that look on his face. 

“John.” He smirks. “So are you gonna shut up and let me enjoy this cake or do you have some other wise ass remark to make?” 

“All I was gonna say is that if you eat the entire cake you're gonna get fa-” 

He leans in and cuts off your words with his own mouth. Once again this isn’t just a quick kiss. This is sloppy, open mouth kissing. Yes. You are currently french kissing Dave Strider. Well more like he’s french kissing you because you definitely have never done this before. It’s weird. Not a bad weird. But weird. Also he tastes like cake. Which also isn’t a bad thing. Somehow the batterwitch’s cake doesn’t taste so bad when you get the flavor second hand. 

He pulls back and damn it he was right. You can not even remember how to speak. For a second you just sit there and stare at him and he just stares back. You open your mouth once and close it right away because what can you even say? You decide to try words again. 

“You taste like icing.” You state in a monotone. 

“Wonder why.” He scoops up a dollop of icing from the cake onto his finger and offers it to you. You shake your head slightly, just once. He ignores you and wipes the glob of white icing onto your bottom lip. Your tongue slips out to lick it off. He ignores the disapproving look you give him when he goes for another finger of icing. 

“Open up~” He speaks to you like you're a child. Nope. Not happening. You shake your head stubbornly. “Jooohn.” You continue to keep your lips pressed firmly together. “Fine. If that’s how it’s gonna be.” He brings his hand without icing up and grabs your nose, preventing you from breathing through it. Fuck. You do your best to hold your breath. And you are pretty good at it too. You hold your breath for what is probably close to a minute before you feel your lungs really start to burn. You know your face is starting to turn red. But you can’t give him the satisfaction. You aren’t a pet! Of course your body and its stupid natural instinct to survive win. You gasp to pull in a deep breath. And Dave the fucking creep that he is just sticks his fucking icing covered finger in your mouth. So you do what any good prankster would do. 

You look up at him with eyes that would go perfectly with a bratty pout but do as he wants and suck gently at the icing on his finger. You swirl your tongue around his finger and you see something cross his face. Good. You’re reeling him in. He pulls his finger out of your mouth and you look at him. “More please?” You speak in a small voice. This is literally so ridiculous. If someone had told you this would happen even yesterday you would have rolled your eyes, reminded them you liked girls, and probably called them crazy. But somehow you were getting used to all this fake relationship b.s. with Dave. As much as Dave said he wasn’t into drama students you know he could probably be one himself. He’s super good at facial expressions. You are honest to god jealous of the way he can manage to clearly get across some emotion while making it look like he’s trying to hide it. Like right now. He has another finger full of icing and as you suck his finger into your mouth anyone who would look over would think he’s getting hot and bothered. Damn Dave and his acting skills. Now to use this all to prank him. 

Wait. What did you even plan to do? This is a mess. Well you could always just bite. But thats so unoriginal and so lacking in rewards. What if you can use his acting skills against him though. You make up your mind. You’re going to fluster him. Or more accurately make it look like he’s flustered. You know that losing control of his poker face is one of the cool kid’s least favorite things. But he also wouldn’t want to risk people stopping believing you two’s prank. So in any real situation, if someone’s actual boyfriend was sucking at their finger like this, it would get really super sexual super quick. So the person having their digit sucked on would have to act entirely affected. You're sure Dave knows this too. Because now as you continue licking at his finger for the sweet icing his face continues getting increasingly red. Seriously, you’d kill for such face control. He must catch on to what you're doing though because he pulls his hand back and doesn’t go for more icing. “No more?” You ask him with an innocent tone of voice. “N-no. Not here.” 

Victory.

After that lunch goes pretty normally. Dave shuts your lunchbox and for some reason insists on keeping it on his lap. Probably so he could better fit his tray between the two of you since he insists on splitting his school bought lunch with you. Which is super sweet of him. You remind him he doesn’t have to but he insists, saying it’s boyfriend duty. You blush at that. Of course you only blushed because it is expected of someone like you. Yeah. That has to be the reason, right? But maybe it isn’t. And if it isn’t then you really don’t want to face the reality of the situation. Because the reality is you might not just want this to all be a joke you two are playing. The reality is maybe you actually want to be in a relationship with Dave Strider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously though guys, the real last chapter will probably be up in a week. (school ends friday so it wont be sooner than that cause i gotta study for finals) But please! Continue to read and comment and you can still reach me at aprilletherainbowcat.tumblr.com


	6. The End of the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

_**Your name is John Egbert and you're confused.**_

About something you thought you’d never even have to think about: your sexuality. You mean, like really, who would? You always had just thought you’d find some girl in high school or college and settle down with her. Have kids, live the whole suburban lifestyle. But now here you sit without Dave, in calc and you're wondering. Because you like Dave. Well duh you like Dave. He’s your best friend. But maybe you _like-like_ Dave. Aaaaand now you sound like a middle school girl. But this day with Dave has been nice. Mostly the normal sort of nice, but with the added in kissing and stuff. And that stunt you pulled at lunch a few periods ago. That wasn’t bad either. You kind of liked watching a blush crawl across Dave’s pretty pale cheeks. Nope nope nope you did not just call Dave and his stupid creamy looking pale skin pretty. But the way color creeped into them was like a work of art. You wonder what he would look like entirely undone. If he thought the action of you suckling his fingers needed him to force that sort of reaction, then how far would his reaction go if something he genuinely felt happened. How his face would look when some girl he was dating went down on him. You can almost imagine him throwing his head back and moaning softly as you slowly take his cock into your mouth. Wait. No. You mean some girl. You aren’t gay. You’ve never even gotten a blowjob, much less given one. And you don’t want to give one. Well, not in general you don’t. Maybe for Dave though. No. You’re stopping this train of thoughts right here. It isn’t a train going anywhere good. 

But anyway there were some things you really would like about being in a relationship with Dave for real. Kissing Dave was one of these things. It was a little different than kissing a girl, Dave took control in most of you two’s kisses. But you were not complaining about that. You’d always been concerned that when you kissed a girl you would do something wrong. But Dave was entirely comfortable in control and you were fine with letting him lead. The kissing itself was much the same, all soft and warm. Kissing is just nice in general, you think to yourself. When Dave kisses you, you can almost feel his emotions. When you kiss Dave you feel safe and cared for. But of course he’s only faking this. Because as your best friend he knows how important pranking is to you. You fight the urge to groan aloud. You already finished your math worksheet so there wouldn’t be even the slightest bit of a reason for a long drawn out exaggerated groan. But you want to. Because now you screwed up. You should have just told Dave you only pranked alone. Or something. Because now there might just be a teeny tiny possibility that maybe you like him for real. Of course you can’t tell him this. He’d probably think you were trying to prank him. No. You decide you can’t like Dave. For your own sake. The longer you consider it, the more you know it’s true though. You like Dave. And you're just going to get hurt. 

As if it’s to punctuate your final thought the bell rings. The final bell of the day. It’s 2:40 and your school day is officially over.You make your way to Dave’s locker. Predictably he isn’t here yet. But as his best friend and someone who doesn’t bother with their own locker, you have the combination. It was a precaution just in case you would ever need a locker and it was also more convenient for him too. Since your last class was closer you normally came here and had it open and waiting for him when he got here. Today is no different as you turn the knob to unlock it. Except today is different. His stuff that you know he would normally take home is already gone. So somehow he’s already been here. But there is also something different than what you normally see. A white sheet of paper, folded in half rests on the top shelf. In Dave’s boldly slanted writing it says ‘John’. 

You pull it out of the locker and look at it in confusion for a second before unfolding it. Inside is a simple instruction in red pen. _‘Meet me at the morning spot.’_ He must be referring to where the two of you hang out with your friends every morning. Whatever. You pocket the note and slam the locker door. You easily fall in step with the rest of the teenagers rushing to leave the building. Coming out the main door you turn down in the direction of where Dave should be. The sidewalk is still crowded as there are more buses down this way. You see a flash of blond hair through the crowd that either has to be Rose or Dave and you steer towards it. Cutting over there you don’t know which of the aforementioned blonds it was as both are present. Actually most of your group is there. Oh. This is the big reveal. The ‘ you’ve been pranked everyone ’ speech. You hope Dave is going to take the lead because you don’t really feel so swell all of a sudden. 

It seems like he is. He jumps up onto the wall there and looks down at you all. His eyes linger on you and he shoots you a worried glance. Maybe you look as ill as you feel over this day ending. You know it has to, but you wish it didn’t. Now Dave calls the group to attention. 

“Hey losers the show is up here. I have an important announcement to make.” 

The majority of the group trains their eyes on Dave. 

“Today some of you have been lead astray in your thinking. It wasn’t much of a shock to any of you but hopefully these next words will strike a chord with some of you. As of today, I, one Dave Strider, have pulled a spectacular prank.” 

Here it comes. You brace yourself slightly. 

“A prank on the pranking prince himself.” 

Wait what? 

“This morning I convinced the notorious prankster John Egbert to help me pull a ‘prank’. Except in convincing him to go along with it I laid the foundation for the real prank.” 

Wait… 

“This entire day i’ve had him convinced that the purpose of this was to get you guys, at the risk of his hetero reputation. But through this he’s ended up outright destroying the reputation in the school, and hopefully also that notion in his own mind.” 

He’s looking at you now. He’s grinning, but you can tell he’s nervous. 

“John. Nothing i’ve said today was untrue. Every last bit of it was sincere. The joke’s on you John. I’ve used you this entire day because i’m a selfish bastard. And i’ve loved every minute of it. I’ve ripped the secure blanket that is heterosexualty away from you and i’m hoping you don’t want it back. Because I-” 

Holy shit. 

“I like you. A lot. In the most homosexual, rainbow pride flag infested way.” 

Holy.  
Fucking.  
Shit.  


“So yeah. That’s it. Y’all can leave now.” 

And leave they do. Your friends head off in their different directions, for busses or wherever it is they’re going. Somehow you don't think this was news to them as much as it was news to you. Dave jumps down from the wall. You look at him. He looks at you. He’s a wreck, any of the confidence he had when he was giving his speech from the top of that two foot wall is gone.You open your mouth but close it immediately. You don’t have words to say. But you have feelings. A shit ton of feelings. And if you can muster the courage then you have actions. He’s still watching you closely. You take a small step tords him, then another, slowly closing the distance between the two of you. He’s keeping his face blank. You don’t know what he expects. You do know what you’re about to do though. You take a last shallow breath and throw your arms around his neck, frantically pressing your lips to his. You’d kill for a response. You won’t have to do that, his arms go around your waist and he responds just as passionately. You pull back and rest your forehead against his and pull down his sunglasses just enough so you can see his eyes. 

“No homo?” He asks you softly, smirking. 

You grin at him before laughing out “So homo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Remember: feedback doesn't take long to send and makes my day so much better :) Send it here or to aprilletherainbowcat.tumblr.com


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